Blog is not a tamagotchi - Another update

I am glad my blog isnt a tamagotchi.... this handheld digital pet that u have to constantly give it attention.... i have been so lazy to update my life since it went on the fast pace..... back in singapore of course.....

Life has moved on so much, that, a year ago, I wouldnt have been able to predict where i am.

Started with Swire in May. It has been a great job for me so far. Great colleagues, good boss, interesting work (so far)..... what more can you ask of a job? Nothing much more for me... Thank God for his providence... indeed if you ask believing... you will be rewarded.... according to his timing of coz.... It is amazing how little things and details fell in place during this period... It's all down to God, none to man.... my interview itself was a great miracle...

Signed my sale and purchase for the peak during the week. One of the biggest headaches in my life. So glad that this is over for a few reasons.... property market is blooming again... glad a real home owner like me doesnt have to fight for elbow space with property speculators..... also... we are loving this place the more we look at it... the location, the view, and almost everything... it's like a relationship.... it grows sweeter and deeper each time we look at it..... Really thank God for the divine timing..

Wedding prep.... so far so good.... Definitely thanks to God and many friends who have been so so super enthu about helping us... seriously...i am so bad with details... without the strength of my dearie... this thing will surely be a mess right now. I am hope

Living with certainty in uncertain times

Decided to update my blog after a year of absence. Was doing my quiet time, and realized that I should really record this unique time in my life, when I am challenged on a daily basis.

I am currently jobless, and definitely seeking out employment actively. I was just reading a short article/message on the “my daily bread” website, under “my utmost for his highest” for Apr 29, recommended by a mentor that I look up to tremendously. It is about living in life’s uncertainty, but being completely certain in God… definitely a good read for anyone that faces any slight uncertainty in life, especially me!

I am usually a decently humble guy, but in my walk with God, still trying very much to depend on my own strength. My current journey has humbled me a great deal, making me understand that through my own strength, I can achieve very little. It is only through God’s grace that I can achieve anything at all. Hence I have to learn to lean on him, trust him, commit all things to his hands, cast our worries onto him.

I used to think that I should be able to manage interviews pretty decently, while I may not be the best of the best, I should do decent in interviews. Through this process of walking with God and going through the various rejections and uncertainty, I learnt that what God wants to give me, no one can take from me, what God has not prepared for me, I can never get.

God has been good and real to me, giving me various encouragements, a lot of friends and mentors who are walking this journey with me, guiding me, teaching me, holding me. God has been good in sending many many messages like one on him leading Israel through the desert for 40 years without them ever being in need… about 1 Peter 5:11, that after suffering a while, God’s truth will come to pass.

Of course God blessed me with a tremendous partner that is supporting me and walking with me through this testing time.

In good times, u see friends, in tough times, you see true friends…. Thanks to all who has tried to help me, and show concern, and given words of encouragement, it means a lot to me, each and everyone of you.

I thank God for these friends… true friends… and most importantly, I thank God for being such a true God to me… I pray that I will continue to learn to walk the journey in a way that will make him proud, that will demonstrate God’s goodness in me.
AMEN!

Rodeo and Brazos Bend in March

Some updates for March.

March 22, Zhiying's birthday... we spent the weekend without the dodo couple as they went to join Girls Gone Wild in Panama City, Florida.

We have been wanting to go Rodeo once more, but for the 3 weeks that Rodeo was on, it was either she was busy or I was busy.

Finally, we managed to get a ticket from Stubhub. A little pricy, but we were seated in the bottom section, about 10-15 rows from the front. We had a great view of all the events that were ongoing.

I managed to take some pictures, and videos, and am really happy to bring back memories of this unique event in Houston.

It was not a particularly romantic affair, but i think we both enjoyed the experience a great deal. Seeing the "cowboy"ish activities, and soaking in the texan atmosphere is something that we both appreciate.

Some photos taken: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=32383&l=2dda2&id=712647233

That saturday ended with a dinner to this Tex-mex place for the farewell of our Korean colleague, Kyle Lee. He was here on a Global exchange, and was heading home after 18 months in Houston. Both Zing and I met him during one of our Internal Audit visits on Hines....

Sunday came, and my pollen allergy was so bad that I was bedstruck the whole day. I managed to watch some NCAA basketball.... there were several intense game, which was great.

Another week passed, and the following weekend, we joined Loren and his family at Brazos Bend State Park, which is like a 50 mins drive from Houston. Relatively near for a decent size park. It all began 2 weeks ago when he asked if I ever had s'mores. I didnt know what it was, so he told me it's this sweet desert thing that Americans make over BBQ. Basically, it's one or two roasted marshmallow and melted chocolate, placed between 2 Graham brand crackers (or S'poreans say biscuits).

So he asked us to join him that weekend. It was a really pretty park. We went there about 1.5hrs before meeting Loren, and took a quick walk. We even saw an Alligator which we walked by without noticing. Only when we spoke to one of the park goers, did they point it out to us. A huge one in fact, but it was minding its own business.

We went to join Loren and Tamara, with their kids, Evie and in the evening, and had simple stuff like hot dog with bread and s'mores. We were joined by Mike and his wife, Loren's neighbours and friends. It was a really relaxing time when we sat by the campfire till it was almost 10pm.... just taking it easy, talking about ourselves, asking about them, enjoying the nature, the dark sky... the campfire... and some guitar strumming by Mike.

We enjoyed the park, and promised to try to go back there again... if we can find an empty weekend.

Some photos taken: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=33205&l=26a30&id=712647233

The following day, my pollen allergy acted up again, and I was suffering from a sore eye (yes, just the right one). I had to stay at home to rest more on Sunday.

My allergies (something I never had before) got worse and I went to get the presciption that the doctor gave me during the week, and was hoping that I will get better before the weekend comes.

I took the plunge

Today, I contacted someone from a project that reaches out to the homeless.. "The Beacon". It will be on Saturday, from 9am to 530pm. I finally took my first step towards restoring what I used to do.

I pray that God will sustain me, and allow me to participate in this project regularly, and when I am tired, I pray that God will help me through it.

Since we are going to a ranch on Saturday, I will not be able to join the project this saturday. I hope I will be there next week. God willing...

The seeds of life

The passage below shows the different sides of me since I came to the US. It seems like a simple passge, yet has such a strong impact.

Luke 8:5-15

5"A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. 6Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. 7Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. 8Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown."

11"This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. 12Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. 14The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. 15But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

There are 4 types of life that I have lived.

1) A unchurched life in verse 12

I sometimes live like I do not know God. I forgot that God worked many miracles in my life so far. I do not read his word, I do not spread his word... I live life like life is all about me, as if God was never in my life.

2) Short term memory in verse 13

There are times I go to church, and felt that the sermon was good. I would think to myself, I need to apply the sermon to my life. But I dont. I left church with that "feel good" feeling, that I have checked the "I have attended church" box, then when I reached home, I forget that I am a Christain. When something elses requires of my time, I will no longer put God as my top priority. When I am tired, I dont want to show up at church. I want my time, I want to do my things.... I do not read the bible regularly, I no longer have the compassion for the needy, basically, when it comes to crunch time... I simply crumple...

3) The self centered me... in verse 14

Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I have become more and more self centered after coming here. I have not grown much spiritually since I came here. It is not because of a different church, or different cell group. It is solely because of a change in my mindset. My focus has moved away from God... to me, myself and I. It's all about my travelling... my taking better pictures... it's all about me. I forgot about the needy people that God placed me around. I wanted to do my things, use my time, have my fun... all for myself.

4) The "me" that I want to become... in verse 15

I want to rediscover my compassion. I want to rediscover God. I want to grow, I want to have a hunger for the unchurched friends and family members. I want to read his word more and know him more... I want his word to guide my life, and nothing else. Help me God...

God help me... remind me... make me more consistent. God, I know I have changed, but I want to change back to what I used to do... how I used to think... the way I used to act... Lord, help me.

Readings for yesterday

Matthew 6
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

This is a good passage for someone like me.... who usually forgets that whatever in the world now is temporary... When I got to the US... I am always thinking about personal satisfaction... personal fulfilment.... being with people... having fun... travelling... enjoying my life for me and me alone......

While God DOES want me to enjoy my life... and derive personal satisfaction in the things I do... He doesnt want me to forget that the real purpose in my life is to reach out to the needy... that is where His heart is....

Coming here and being overwhelmed by many small things to settle.... I have developed a sense of "my time is for me to do MY things" attitude... I go to church... help out at service.... but i lost the hunger to help the needy... I lost the "die to self" mentality.....

I pray to God... asking for him to help me... rediscover the hunger... rediscover the love for the needy... Thank God and Amen.

My talk with God... part 2

Following my previous post...

I read some really powerful messages that I want to note down in this online journal of mine.

Matthew 5:37 "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes', and your 'No', 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."

I have quoted this verse in many ocassions... but never really got the true message.

I am a big preacher of the "GRAY area" in our life... and I have always said that many things cannot be a straight yes... or a definite no... there are always a "depends" in all situations... almost... being blessed with the ability to twist some whites into blacks, rights into wrongs... I have often convinced myself of this "gray" substance.

Today... I got the message from God... when in doubt, ask yourself... "What would Jesus do?"

There was also another verse...

Matthew 5:28 "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Being a weak man God made me... this is a message that I definitely should bear in mind... When a woman with a good figure walks by.... when the cheerleaders are doing their sexy moves... I should learn to look away. Always try not to tempt myself by giving that "second look". I pray that God will remind me that... he already had during tonight's game.

Thank God....

My talk with God

Yesterday... I couldnt go to sleep.... so I woke up... I went to talk to God.... Physically, I was reading the bible like many other times... but this time... I decided to read it, and be sensitive to God's message for me in the verses I read.

I read Matthew 5... and was on verses 23 - 24".... if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift"

This must be the upteemth time that I read these verses, but I always remembered it as "if I have something against my brother".... so I had this differences with a friend. I felt that he could have something "against" me, but I questioned myself honestly, and was able to say that I was not holding anything against him. Hence I did not try to resolve the "issue" between us. I always use the excuse... it is not with me... I have nothing against him... so the issue lies with him... "ball is not in my court"

But God had a different message for me... He wants me to go reconcile with someone whom I think/know has something against me. I may not harbour any ill feelings, but I still have to make the first step to reconcile with him.

I prayed about it... and knew God has this message for me, knowing this particular issue.

So this afternoon, I finally followed God's message for me... and talked to him. It was good, and we exchange some nonsense.... and had quite a decent talk.

I am glad that I followed the promptings of God.... and resolved this "knot".... God is good... he guided me through it... Thank God...