Happy Birthday

Just some random thoughts when I saw a posting about a dodo's birthday...

I have a somewhat unique view on the uniqueness of myself as an individual... while I lay secured in the fact that God created us different from others, and very much an unique person... I somehow have a less than usual way of viewing my own birthdays...

It led me to recall my growing up process, and how I grew up thinking that I am so unique, and the day that I was born is so special, surely the most special day of the year... this is of course not helped by the constant celebration of mediocrity by our parents and relatives around us... "Wah, Ah Jin is so good at XXXX" when now I realized... it's not as true as I wished it is... haha

Not to be mistaken, I do like my birthday... Deep down, I always feel special about myself that day... but I shun away from the happy birthday greetings... I do not enjoy being in the spotlight... especially when someone announces my birthday to a crowd... I like it to be privately special... It's hard to explain... while I feel special about myself... I feel awkward when people want to celebrate that with me... I never feel easy being the "focus" of people's attention.. except my dearest of course...

I dont like the thought of people needing to spend additional efforts thinking of a gift for me... or planning a celebration... while I very much appreciate the kind gestures... the thought of people "wasting" time doing something to make me feel special (not like I dont feel special about myself already) on that day... it's just a case of... sincerely appreciate the thoughts...Thanks... but no thanks.

The most ridiculous birthday that I had was my 18th birthday... I actually forgot that it was my birthday on that day and went about the day like all other day. Of course.. I kept it toned down by not telling anyone that it is my birthday any time before... And when people start to discuss that topic, i will carefully and, usually, skillfully skirt the topic.

On that fateful day... I remember it was on a Wednesday... I had ECA that afternoon.... It was only at about 4pm, when someone actually asked me about the date that day.... and I said... "I think it's 19 April"... then the person corrected me... and said.. "no lah, it's actually... ".

At that point, I felt kind of silly, and funny... that I spent the full day without realizing it's my birthday... Ironically... I think my Dad or Mum bought me a cake when I got home... It's really nice...

Sometimes birthday is like a check point...it's just time to take stock... time to count your blessings... time to think about the people you love... time to love the people you love even more... time to thank God for all that he has given to me the past year... time to feel good about yourself... and what you have done for the past year... time to thank God that there's always another year for you to improve... time to appreciate people...

One thing that I tend not to think about... despite tremendous societal pressure... is to think about the BIG 3...... To each his own... but I tend to think that... as I always tell my dearie... Birthdays is just a date... and Age is just a number... While the former is not consistent with my current post, the latter is certainly how I feel always... Like I always tell my staff... what is the bottom line? It's simply... Age is just a number, we can always feel the age you want to feel... after all, we know that a 29-year-old person may not be what we thought of a 29-year-old when we were 15....

Thank God for the day...